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AN
UNPAID DEBT
One
morning, elements of the ride seemed to come together perfectly and this
perfection led me to try to put into writing what all this means and has
meant to me. It was a cool,
calm morning; the bike was running sweet, the scenery nothing less than
beautiful. I felt good. I was as one with the bike and the world.
I felt a satisfaction, an inner peace.
 But
just putting those feelings into words does not begin to encompass all
that this activity means to me. It
has been an interest, a pastime, a crutch and a passion, certainly.
However, as it is with many others, I have spent a great deal in
time, money and energy in pursuit of what?
I’m
not so sure it is a pursuit of something quite so intangible as those
things mentioned above. As
it is now, I have reached a point where I feel I have a debt and payment
is due. My indebtedness has been accumulated from all that my
two-wheeled vehicle has given, and continues to give every time I swing
a leg. And what has it
given me?
In the
beginning there was the little 175.
It gave the unexpected thrill of speed.
The exhilaration of controlling a machine through corners on a
seeming whim of desire. And
most of all the adrenaline rush. It
made you feel alive! And if
a 175 could do all that, bigger must be better, right?
Absolutely! The 900
offered all those things and so much more.
Most of all it gave me legs.
The ability to have all those experiences I desired and to have
them mile after mile, and eventually day after day, week after week.
As I
read through what I’ve written I see physical enjoyment, and that is
an important part. But by
far the smallest part. Every
bike I have ever had has become a friend, associate, companion,
confident and compadre. It
has always been there true and faithful, gleaming in it’s newness,
demanding of attention when not quite right, and begging for care after
long days to far destinations. And those things I give gladly because;
In time of
frustration my bike has been there to work off the anxiety.
In time of
anger it has been there as my personal whipping post.
In time of
happiness it has been there to smile and congratulate.
In time of
sadness it has been there to console.
In
my far past there was a period when I found myself in distant land, not
by choice, but under circumstances which eventually destroyed ideals and
values I believed to be true. Newfound
friends, brothers would be more exact, were maimed and torn from this
life and there are no answers as to why.
In times of retrospection those feelings of despair, sadness and
anger come to the surface in full reality.
And I have turned to my two wheeled friend and it had said, “Do
with me as you will. I’m
here. It’s all right. I
understand”.
Someone
once said, that for every person in this world there are actually few in
number with whom that person could have a lifelong, close and loving
relationship. The Good Lord
granted me a relationship such as that and for 26 years she was the
guiding light of my life. When
she eventually came to share in my two-wheel passion, all seemed
complete and full. And when her illness came upon her she showed me a strength
and determination I would never have believed possible. And throughout her illness she understood.
She knew that to be able to cope with all the pressures, I needed
a release. “It’s time
for a ride”, she would say. “Tell
me about it when you get home.”
Again
my friend would say, “Do with me as you will. I’m here.
It’s all right. I
understand.”
On
my return, whether I was gone for an hour or a day, I felt a renewed
source of strength and a determination to face those difficult days
ahead. And, after the
inevitable end came for the loving mother of my children, again, my two
wheeled friend was there to say, “Do with me as you will.
I’m here. Its all
right. I understand.”
And
now in the twilight of my days, when circumstances have dictated that my
riding time has indeed come to an end, I reflect on the relationship I
have had with my motorcycles. It
pains me deeply to see my latest friend and companion, in the garage,
gleaming but somehow lost and forlorn.
Aching for a taste of the road to distant horizons.
I know
that at some time in the future my friend will have a new home.
But I also know it will continue to give its new master those
same things it has given me. And
as giving and understanding as it has all ways been, it says again to
me;
“Do with me as you will. I’m
here. Its all right. I
understand.”
These things
my motorcycles have given me. My
debt will never be repaid.
Cliff Harber
Cameron Park, California
Friday,
September 14, 2001
“You
see John that’s all there is.
In the end that’s all there is.
The experiences.”
Grumpy
Old Men
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